Waiting for Coconuts

Really wishing my fridge had a big enough shelf to store coconuts so that I don’t have to put them in the freezer. Waithing for this baby to unthaw is like waiting for Christmas.

My kitchen is infested with snails and this morning I saw a crab crawling by my stove.

My friend wrote this and I thought it was super funny, not to mention so true:

You know you’re a Peace Corps Volunteer in Thailand if…..

1. You see four people on a motorcycle and think there’s still room for more.
2. You know about sua sua.
3. You actually choose to use the butt sprayer instead of toilet paper.
4. You get told that you are beautiful/handsome at least four times a day.
5. You have ever planted rice.
6. You can openly discuss bodily functions for hours on end.
7. You LOVE sticky rice.
8. Anything less than a 12 hour bus trip is considered close.
9. You’ve hung out with Alex from 120.
10. You have ever been woken up by a Thai person yelling your name at 5:30 in the morning.
11. You don’t really know whose chickens they are, but you have at least 10 chickens in your yard at any given moment.
12. You are called fat and then forced to eat more than you possibly can.
13. When you hear the price of something in dollars, you now convert it to Baht.
14. You know to always lie about time on a sign in sheet.
15. Eating with any utensils feels weird.
16. You’ve eaten……< insert crazy food.
17. You are regularly passed by a 10 year old driving a motorcycle while you labor away on your bicycle.
18. While trying to speak Thai, you have accidentally said that you “pooped a bicycle”
19. You get extremely excited when you can read a sign in Thai.
20. You wake up with one goal for the day- Avoid being Thainapped!
21. You love Dr. Rit.
22. You know what the avenue of good times is.
23. You now feel totally comfortable asking somebody how much money they make.
24. You can’t drink beer without ice.
25. You think “same same but different” is grammatically correct.
26. You love chili sauce.
27. Your clothes are never clean, and they only smell good half the time.
28. You think 75 degrees is cold.
29. You see an elephant roaming the streets and it’s not a big deal.
30. You’ve learned to embrace awkward situations.
31. You haven’t eaten cheese in six months.
32. You’ve never washed your sheets.
33. You have watched all your DVDs with commentary at least three times.
34. You commonly ask people if they have showered yet.
35. You have given yourself a haircut.
36. You have been in a parade.
37. You have been to the beer buffet in Khon Kaen.
38. You have used “tong sia” as an excuse
39. You love beer towers.
40. You have ever broken or clogged a toilet
41. You have ever been hugged by Dan Korte…WHAT WHAT!!!
42. You are constantly asked if you are scared of ghosts.
43. You love speaking Thenglish.
44. When you hear “bai nai” you just point
45. You have a mosquito net still in its original packaging somewhere in your house.
46. You know that kids don’t need adult supervision.
47. You now hate microphones.
48. There are more lizards in your house than people in your village.
49. You actually start to think that your name is Farang.
50. You can “gin pet dai”

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One thought on “Waiting for Coconuts

  1. Loved the top 50. your comments reminded me of the current season of Top Chef. The first challenge was to cook escargot. Last night we watched a Haitian do stuff unsuccessfully with coconuts. the judges announced that his coconut mojito was the worst drink ever. He said it sounded good, but he didn’t drink. He’s a goner. They liked his seviche, which I guess he made with the coconut juice. He was looking for a sword to hack his coconuts. Of course, the other chefs said no one they know of carries one in their knife kit. Coconut juice was flying every where. Where in the world did a crab come from? How big was it?

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